Indestructible Babies
Peepee has been restless the past couple of nights, they think he’s having nightmares, but it’s hard to understand why this would happen considering that he’s doted with limitless attention during the day. In fact, he spent the entire day yesterday with Jacko. In the morning they went to visit the carnival and saw two-headed sheeps and a reptilian-skinned woman, how fun is that!
And in the afternoon Jacko brought him to the salon so they could both get their hair trimmed and eyebrows plucked. Later on, he was given a lollipop and a comfortable chair while he watched Jacko have his back waxed. But it didn’t make a difference, he still woke up in the middle of the night screaming – which of course woke everyone else up in misery.
Well, Pappy has had enough of the midnight tantrums, so today he dragged out Peepee’s crib out of the room and into the toilet. Atleast there he bothers no one. Posy for one, was not sure if this was a very good idea, so to prove his point Pappy went to take a leek. When Peepee saw him, he stood on his crib and just smiled the entire time, like he was secretly entertained. Or maybe he was. But the fact is, no one could know for sure until he learned to talk, so best forget about it and leave that matter to his future shrink.
The next day everyone woke up early to vote. Pappy and Jacko are rooting for Kerry while Posy just tagged along to watch. When they came back, they found Peepee overfed and unattended and the Nanny napping in the master bedroom. When Posy called the temp agency and complained about this, they told her that :
#1 No, this Nanny is not on drugs – in fact she had stopped cold turkey just five days ago.
#2 Yes, she is currently dealing with some withdrawal syndromes, but it only happens once a day, the rest of the time she’s fine. And lastly,
#3 No, she cannot be replaced by another one because all the other nannies are attending a month-long Anger Management Seminar.
By the time Posy put down the phone she wasn’t sure how to react. Back in Cuba, things were much simpler, she has never encountered this kind of thing before.
So the three of them had a meeting to discuss how to deal with Peepee. They all agreed that Peepee was becoming an increasing pain in the crack, and albeit they have some feelings towards him, it’s best if they got rid of him altogether. That way they won’t have to deal with and waste money on crazy nannies, and they can all get a good night’s sleep tonight, for tomorrow they plan to watch CNN’s Election Blog - preferably in peace and quiet. So they immediately started forming a plan.
The scenario was going to be simple, they’ll innocently place the grill beside the crib and then accidentally set the everything on fire. Took them but about 15 minutes to set up and then finally, it’s show time. When the first flames started to form everyone got excited, everything was going according to plan. By this time tomorrow Peepee would have been but a distant memory – and they were happy not to have the social services involved, since that last incident with baby LingLing from China who almost died from a strict Leftovers Diet. They had to be careful.
So the flames started growing and soon they had a brilliant pyre going in front of them. They were clever enough to fence themselves in so that if there were any passers-by, they'd looked credibly concerned - but unfortunately helpless. Well, a neighbor did pass by and when she saw the baby in the fire, she bravely jumped in and fished him out to safety. So much for plan A…
But this was only the beginning. They regrouped and quickly proceeded on plan B. This time, they made sure there were no neighbors around. They placed a grill on either side of the crib, this way even if there was some idiot who came jogging along at this ungodly hour, it would make no difference.
So they set the grills on fire, stood back, and watched. After five minutes both grills were burning so much that you couldn’t even see the crib anymore. After ten minutes both grills have been reduced to ash but the crib was still intact, and Peepee is still alive and everyone is still miserable.They have no choice now but to try again tomorrow. The earlier they wake up, the sooner they can try again.
And in the afternoon Jacko brought him to the salon so they could both get their hair trimmed and eyebrows plucked. Later on, he was given a lollipop and a comfortable chair while he watched Jacko have his back waxed. But it didn’t make a difference, he still woke up in the middle of the night screaming – which of course woke everyone else up in misery.
Well, Pappy has had enough of the midnight tantrums, so today he dragged out Peepee’s crib out of the room and into the toilet. Atleast there he bothers no one. Posy for one, was not sure if this was a very good idea, so to prove his point Pappy went to take a leek. When Peepee saw him, he stood on his crib and just smiled the entire time, like he was secretly entertained. Or maybe he was. But the fact is, no one could know for sure until he learned to talk, so best forget about it and leave that matter to his future shrink.
The next day everyone woke up early to vote. Pappy and Jacko are rooting for Kerry while Posy just tagged along to watch. When they came back, they found Peepee overfed and unattended and the Nanny napping in the master bedroom. When Posy called the temp agency and complained about this, they told her that :
#1 No, this Nanny is not on drugs – in fact she had stopped cold turkey just five days ago.
#2 Yes, she is currently dealing with some withdrawal syndromes, but it only happens once a day, the rest of the time she’s fine. And lastly,
#3 No, she cannot be replaced by another one because all the other nannies are attending a month-long Anger Management Seminar.
By the time Posy put down the phone she wasn’t sure how to react. Back in Cuba, things were much simpler, she has never encountered this kind of thing before.
So the three of them had a meeting to discuss how to deal with Peepee. They all agreed that Peepee was becoming an increasing pain in the crack, and albeit they have some feelings towards him, it’s best if they got rid of him altogether. That way they won’t have to deal with and waste money on crazy nannies, and they can all get a good night’s sleep tonight, for tomorrow they plan to watch CNN’s Election Blog - preferably in peace and quiet. So they immediately started forming a plan.
The scenario was going to be simple, they’ll innocently place the grill beside the crib and then accidentally set the everything on fire. Took them but about 15 minutes to set up and then finally, it’s show time. When the first flames started to form everyone got excited, everything was going according to plan. By this time tomorrow Peepee would have been but a distant memory – and they were happy not to have the social services involved, since that last incident with baby LingLing from China who almost died from a strict Leftovers Diet. They had to be careful.
So the flames started growing and soon they had a brilliant pyre going in front of them. They were clever enough to fence themselves in so that if there were any passers-by, they'd looked credibly concerned - but unfortunately helpless. Well, a neighbor did pass by and when she saw the baby in the fire, she bravely jumped in and fished him out to safety. So much for plan A…
But this was only the beginning. They regrouped and quickly proceeded on plan B. This time, they made sure there were no neighbors around. They placed a grill on either side of the crib, this way even if there was some idiot who came jogging along at this ungodly hour, it would make no difference.
So they set the grills on fire, stood back, and watched. After five minutes both grills were burning so much that you couldn’t even see the crib anymore. After ten minutes both grills have been reduced to ash but the crib was still intact, and Peepee is still alive and everyone is still miserable.They have no choice now but to try again tomorrow. The earlier they wake up, the sooner they can try again.
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